Changes

A lot of things have happened in these few weeks and there’s been so many emotions creeping up.

I resigned from my job to have received an offer from somewhere else. I’ve felt so much hatred, sadness in the old company that I needed to leave. It left me in a state of depression and hating life. Sometimes you think a job is all about the compensation but really it’s about the people you work with. It’s about senior management communicating their thoughts to you and getting the time to put in a few minutes to discuss your likes, goals/aspirations.

Last Friday was my last day, everything went by in a flash. I had people counting down for me yet I couldn’t fathom that I was leaving. I guess part of the reason why was because I was training someone else, but I still couldn’t believe it. After saying goodbye to all my coworkers, it just felt like a “see you later” situation. I’m upset I didn’t get anything from the company, and they didn’t think I was worth it to have a little going away party. But whatever, life moves on. I appreciated that I was well praised for my departure by the coworkers in the Toronto office. It sunk in when I took my name tag off my desk and I handed in my access pass. The two years I’ve been there and now it just ends.

Now I’m off on a trip. Off to see some old familiar faces and to enjoy what Asia has to offer. To be honest, this trip hasn’t hit me yet either. I started packing everything last night, I have everything packed and ready to go but I’m in a strange state. Nothing is sinking in.

To top it off, I had a friend message me who I thought we cut off all ties. Memories started to come back and feelings of how I felt for him just creeped in. I sometimes don’t understand what life does to you. The things you least expect come to you at such weird times. I’m happy about the message but I don’t want to give all like I did last time. These last few months, I’ve provided and even though I see myself happy in certain moments, the bigger picture is that it goes no where.

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