Judgement

A lot of things have crossed my mind after the actions that I’ve done.

I’ve received various comments, a lot more negatives then positives. A lot of people commenting on if I really wanted to get one done.

I’m not in talking terms with a friend of mine. For the longest time, I’ve always cared about what others think of me. For the longest time, I wanted to break out of it but here I am stuck. To hear comments saying that it’s permanent and you are totally bad. To be portrayed as an individual who has no idea where to go but fighting through the bushes.

I have to admit I judged so hard. If I didn’t know this friend, I don’t think I would ever have the appeal for tattoos. Neither would I understand why you would want something on you permanently. Yet because of him, I was able to understand and learn to accept. But here I am, now taking on that position and being judged.

Why do I care so much? Because when someone tells me to live, my question is who am I living for? I know the answer should be “myself” but within the last few years of trying to please myself and be someone I didn’t think  I could be, I still hold that grudge of hate and resentment. I hold that question of “what if”.  I said I’m always stuck on that same page, and no one can help pull me out. Instead, I feel like I’m being criticized for what I did or what I wanted to do. I’m  yelled at for my own thinking.

I feel like I’m falling again when I should be soaring like the raven on me. How do I pull myself out?

You’re right. No one understands me.

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